Desiré van den Berg

Hong Kong revisited

Five years ago I moved to Hong Kong where I stayed for seven months. I remember very well how I felt when I first arrived: it was hot, humid and dark, and I was lost. I followed the colors and crowds swaying along the sidewalks like waves in separate currents, swelling and shrinking, occasionally breaking up the flow by stopping myself and looking up. Until somebody noticed me and asked where I needed to be. He showed me the way and the rest is history. I barely photographed living there. Even though Hong Kong felt overwhelming and highly stimulating, there was also a sense of false familiarity induced by the countless photographs I’d already seen of the place. This made me feel numb, uninspired and somewhat paralyzed in terms of picking up the camera. In order to fully indulge in the experience of living there, I had to step away from the distraction of looking at the city through other peoples’ frames. As a result, I only photographed on special occasions. Years later, all I had of the mundane were memories, quickly losing its prosaicness the more time passed. My memories started pulling at me and a feeling of urgency to give my fragmented flashbacks shape, grew over time. Half a decade went by. It was a Wednesday when I decided to give in to my longing and it was the next Wednesday when I landed. I was back. Strong wafts of tiger balm, braised pork and detergent welcomed me as I set foot back on the soil. It’s incredible what smells can do to the brain. It was as if my plane had actually been a time machine and I had traveled against the clock in stead of through the air. Not only was I back where I was five years ago geographically; it was also as if those five years had never happened mentally. The sounds and smells activated old feelings and emotions I forgot I ever had. Love and loneliness. Lost and alive. A rush of excitement sent adrenaline into my limbs and for hours to days, nonstop and tireless, all I could do was photograph. (November, 2018)